


dear john egbert

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: :V, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Humanstuck, M/M, Multi, i just thoguth of it like 2 seconds ago im sorry, im not actually trying here, it's not even like a THING, my own shitty AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-13 06:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3371945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>were running out of food<br/>the sun is dimming<br/>and i cant fucking do this anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. E-Mail 1

**D** ear John,

     Hey. It's Rose.

Dirk's laptop is losing battery fast, so we're not sure if you will get this. It also depends on whether or not the Scavengers have gotten your phone yet. If you are a Scavenger getting this message, of course, please disregard it.

But if this is John, we have a problem. Dave is falling apart without you here, and he's holding us back a bit. We're still at the camp. If you get this, please, come back.

The battery is dyi

 


	2. E-MAIL 2

HI.

IT'S KARKAT.

ARE YOU AND YOUR GROUP OKAY? ME AND TEREZI GOT TO THE SHELTER IN TIME. I DON'T KNOW WHERE ANYBODY ELSE IS. GAMZEE SENT UNREADABLE TEXTS FROM WHAT I ASSUME WAS A RESULT OF HIM BEING HIGH OFF HIS ASS, SOLLUX FLIPPED HIS SHIT ON ME (AND BLOCKED ME ON PESTERCHUM), KANAYA WAS TOO WORKED UP TO REPLY PROPERLY, AND NEPETA IS WITH EQUIUS, GOD KNOWS WHERE. NOBODY ELSE WILL ANSWER ME. 

GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS YOU CAN.

 

 


	3. E-Mail 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guess who's stress writing  
> it's me  
> sorry for lack of updates and shitty fef, ive never written her before???

Dear Jo)(n-

I caug)(t up wit)( Karkat and Terezi, w)(ere are you guys? We )(ave plenty of supplies now, and rumour )(as it, t)(e s)(ellter administrators are going to kick us out soon!

We don't want to do anyfin drastic, but, uh, we're leaving the s)(ellter in 2 days. Karkat )(ad a feeling t)(at you were still over at t)(e old camp, so we're going to sea if )(e was right. If you get t)(is, please e-mail back!

38)


	4. 3-M41L 4

D34R JOHN,

YOU N33D TO COM3 B4CK

W3R3 W1TH YOUR GROUP, 4ND YOUR3 NOT H3R3

D4V3 1S CRY1NG

K4RK4T C4NT 3V3N M4KE H1M T4LK

PL34S3, JOHN.

W3R3 R34LLY WORR13D 4BOUT YOU

W3 N33D TO KNOW YOUR3 OK4Y

PL34S3, PL34S3, PL34S3 R3PLY

PL34S3


	5. Text 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dirk is an asshole in this btw lmao  
> and thanks for the 18 kudos holy shit??? my memeing heart cannot take this

Dear John,

This is Dirk. 

By now we're all inclined to believe that either a scavenger has your phone, you're trying to avoid us, or you've found another group. 

If there _is_ a scavenger getting this, at least try to help us out. Tell us anything you know about the kid you stole this from. We know he was around Larkspur Road at the time and what he was wearing, give us something useful.

If you're ignoring us on purpose, though, you're an asshole. You need to man the fuck up, John. Your boyfriend hasn't spoken a word in three days. He's refusing to eat anything and he's holding us back. We're seriously considering leaving him behind here.

Please reply.


	6. Text 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what the EVERLOVOJG fuck is jakes quirk honestly ive never done him  
> does he capitalize names? the author may never know  
> i can tell this is boring As shit so im ending this in like 2 chapters??

Dear john-

Hey buddy! Its been a while since we've heard from you, i believe its been about a month? We dont have much time here but we need to tell you something very quickly. 

Dave has been holding us back a lot and refusing to eat much. Weve decided to leave him at the old camp. We left him with a phone in case he tries to get in touch with you.

Please, john, if youre getting these, please answer us!

Were at the lalonde household in case youre planning on joining us!

-Jake


	7. text 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is the last one i promise  
> spelling errors are on purpose  
> tw implied suicide & implied death

dear john 

im sorry

im so sorry

i cag;n t fu cking do this wihtout yuo

ijm not sure what i  ;did wrnog 

roxy is d ead

jake kis dea;d

igm so s orry im so sorry jim so sorry im so sorry im so sorry i dont nkow what i did worng

i love y;uo john

im sorr

-dave 


	8. x

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HTE fucking end

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you are lost in the woods.

Your phone is dead.


End file.
